Poetic expressions by EM

I'm sorry Dear "Plum";
Please excuse my reticence,
In discussing matters of flatulence.
It seems kind of rum,
To be talking of things
That come from the bum.

For you it is easy,
But it makes me quite queasy.
A topic so smelly,
Turns my belly to jelly.
I'd prefer a heart-bypass,
To discussing the wind from my arse.

Don't mean to be rude,
And don't think I'm a prude,
But it seems rather crude.
Also discussing poo and pee
With obvious glee,
Seems a bit infantile to me.

Two-year olds find such talk very nifty,
But it's hardly appropriate for old farts of Sixty.
I'm beginning to fear,
We have a 'second childhood' here!

I'm sorry my friend,
But here I must end.
Wish you were a Proctologist?
I'd rather be a Horologist!

Get rid of that Stench;
Talk of Perfume that's French!