RCEM 61-Group Classroom Antics - continued

12- Mr Attanayake teaches us history in Form-2. He went on to teach the Sinhala medium guys thereafter. We experience a terrible encounter with this bloke at Form-5.One day, our chemistry master, Mr Rajendran, gets late to come to class, and the class is naturally a mayhem of noise, similar to a carnival.Attanayake is teaching the Sinhala medium guys in the adjacent classroom. He comes over to us quietly and warns us to be absolutely quiet until our master arrives. The class falls deadly silent because everyone knows Attanayake is a no-nonsense type and could turn out maniacal.After he leaves, the class noise once again begins to increase in tempo, and within ten minutes it is once again a scream. And then we witness one of those dastardly high powered wild west scenes Sergio Leone would have been jealous of, and ever to have been enacted at good ole RC!Attanayake comes storming into the class like an elephant in heat and starts lambasting, slapping, hitting every boy in the class, row after row… He dashes down the rows and comes up taking us one by one, hammering the boys to the hilt, using his clenched hands, arms, palms and all. Mazhar Ghouse, who wears spectacles and sitting at the far end, patiently removes his spectacles and awaits the impending calamity, looking like a man on death row. When it arrives he takes it graciously, and fixes his spectacles back to its original place.After he has finished with his massacre, we see Attanayake addressing the class in full fury, hotly panting away breathlessly like he had just completed the marathon, warning the boys and ordering everyone to stand up on the form. When everyone is up. He barks, “Sit down!” When every one sits down. He barks, “Stand up on the form.” And this drama goes on and on.After the guys stand up on the form for the first time and after they are ordered to sit, Rifky Mackeen, in the second row, dressed in full spotless white, takes out his clean handkerchief and wipes the chair before sitting on it. Then, when the order to stand up on the form is again heard, he once again climbs up. Then when the boys are told to sit down, he once again pulls out his handkerchief and begins to dust his seat, sporting a look of annoyance. Mac’s discomfiture amuses Sam sitting in front of him at the first row, and Sam standing there looks sympathetically at Mac and smiles. That was enough fuel for raving mad Attanayake. Attanayake slaps Sam in machinegun style, non-stop, staccato, some of which Sam fends off with his hands. Then, in breezes Mr Rajendran, and Attanayake exits complaining illegibly in a huff.

13- Mrs Samarasekera -When old lady, Mrs Samarasekera walks into the class to speak with the class master, the boys collectively begin an unending hiss, to which Mrs Samarasekera reacts wickedly, “Don’t you have mothers at home!” And everything goes silent!

14 - Mr EFC Pereira - When Mr EFC Pereira walks into the class to speak with the class master, the boys collectively begin an unending hiss, to which Mr Pereira reacts, “To call you all sons of bitches is an insult to the dog!”And everything goes quiet!

15- Mr V Arasaratnam, the no-nonsense-type, who breezes into class on time and leaves it on time, takes our advanced maths class.One day, a group of guys, which included Omar, Sam and Fi, took its time to come in to class. The guys used to visit Royal Primary School premises during the milk interval and sip their chocolate or vanilla flavored milk at the milk board shop, and generally used to take it easy.When the boys looking guilty slink into class, there is Arasa, already finishing his chore of wiping the board “Hey man, why are you late!”Firoze instantly replies, “Wristwatch is running five minutes fast, sir.” Too late to realize he meant too slow!“That’s all the more the reason you should be here earlier,” quips Arasa, his mathematical mind working like lightning, and preparing to start his work.15.2Arasa has this habit of sliding his palm along the flat timber stair-railing as he climbs us or descends the stairs. Our guy, Chaman, used to spit along a stretch of the stair railing at various points before Arasa used to approach the stairwell! And there goes Arasa sliding his palm…!15.3Arasa is taking our pure Maths. He has the habit of cleaning the entire blackboard even if it is clean and nothing is written on it, immediately after he enters the classroom.One day, we see Chaman Amarasekera spitting at various points on the blackboard before Arasa’s arrival!“Hey man, who has done this,” Arasa queries in his subdued voice and blinks at everyone, before cleaning the stuff with a piece of newspaper to the glee of Chaman.

16- Mr Bogoda Premaratne, was vice principal and then later on was the principal. He takes Sinhala as a subject to teach the EM guys. He appoints Mazhar Ghouse as the monitor. Mazhar sits in the front row facing him. Mr Premaratne possesses a non-violent and peaceful temperament to the extent that, even if he feigns to be tough and strict, there is always a streak of love in his interactions with us. This magnanimous quality is even prevalent in his psyche today.There is a period of Sinhala he takes with us. While addressing the class, he unconsciously places his hands on Mazhar’s desk, which has the usual hole on its top right hand corner to accommodate the ink bottle in bygone days of the British Raj. Mr Premaratne’s index finger automatically disappears into that hole, and Mazhar reaches underneath his desk and catches it as quick as lightning and doesn’t let go! Mr Premaratne without distracting the attention of the class strains to extract his finger but Mazhar holds tight. Without drawing attention to the class, he silently but firmly orders Mazhar to let go, but Mazhar holds on. Mr Premaratne realizes that his attempts at retrieving his finger have failed and now loudly demands from Mazhar, “Ghouse let go of my finger! And the class breaks out into loud laughter! And Mazhar lets it go.16.2Another day, we see Mr Premaratne entering our class, this time with a thick cane and looking all serious. The class breaks out into mild fits of laughter seeing this sight. It is like Mahathma Gandhi brandishing a sword!He places the cane on his desk. As soon as he turns towards the blackboard to write some stuff, Mazhar quietly picks up the cane and passes it to the guy seated behind him. And it swiftly travels by hand down the line to the guy at the end, while Mr Premaratne is still facing the board.Mr Premaratne does not notice the disappearance of the cane, and continues teaching.There comes a time when one of the guys makes some prank and annoys Mr Premaratne, who instinctively reaches out for the cane and finds, to his consternation, it has vanished!Suddenly, Chaman or was it Wijekoon, at the far end of the class, whips out the cane and repeatedly hammers it on his desk to the hilarious laughter of the class, and Bogoda looking all nonplussed and finally smiling, orders Mazhar, his monitor, to retrieve it.16.3This is a time when Bogoda is principal and is seated in his ornate office. He is busy talking seriously to some person seated opposite him. Mazhar walks in brazenly with a couple of the boys, places both his hands on the principal’s desk and addresses him, “Sir, there are UNICEF cards for the deaf and blind available for sale. Are you interested in buying them?”Bogoda looks up at him with raised eyebrows and a forced looked of inimical officialdom and, with a show of affected authority, tells him, “Get out of my office before I make all of you deaf and blind!” And Mazhar and the boys disappear.